


Fire Eyes

by Bornon413



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-23
Updated: 2012-11-22
Packaged: 2017-11-19 07:31:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 19
Words: 15,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/570751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bornon413/pseuds/Bornon413
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Terezi's terrifying past comes to haunt her, she feels compelled to fight for her life and her friends. Especially if she wishes to walk away from her once dangerous nickname, "Fire Eyes".</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. An Average Day

**Author's Note:**

> Transferring my first fan fiction from FF.net to here. :u

Terezi sprinted to class, a slight grin on her face. She was almost always smiling, that was the thing she was best at, next to paper-cut art work... or at least that was what she told herself. Although she couldn't see anything, she could still make her way around the school; she knew it like the back of her own hand.

She ducked into class just as the bell rang and tumbled down into a chair next to her closest friend, Karkat.

"Hiya, Karkles." She said in a whisper followed with a goofy grin.

Knowing him, she could tell that he would have just rolled his eyes. He whispered back, "Why the fuck are you late? Get lost or over sleep?"

She showed him a bright red bandage on her index finger and smiled, "I accidentally cut my finger and I had to get it bandaged because 'I'm too helpless to do it myself'."

"That's a load of fucking bullshit."

"I know ri-"

"Miss Pyrope and Mister Vantas," The professor interrupted. "Is there something you'd care to share about nuclear physics that I don't know about?"

Karkat immediately got flustered and began, "W-well, uh, sir-" but Terezi cut him off with a smile and said, "We were just discussing the new nuclear reactor in... I think it was Japan."

The professor's eyes began to twinkle, "Ah yes, the most advanced reactor in the world!"

Terezi just rolled her eyes and took out a turquoise and a red marker and began to doodle in her notebook. Every once in a while, she would inwardly sigh as the scents of the cherry and the blueberry scented markers mingled in her lungs. Her friend began to grimace as the markers invaded his air space. He stuck a piece of paper on her desk and she felt it with the fingers on her left hand. It read: Why the fuck do you have to use those stupid fucking things in class?

She shot him a be-quiet-or-I'll-use-them-on-your-face look. She heard Karkat shuffle around in his seat and he left her alone for the rest of class. She smiled to herself.

That goofball is so adorable... if only he wasn't so angry at himself all the time.

Terezi mainly used this class as zone-out time. She even smiled as she zoned out, a decision that was now totally unconscious since that day several years ago.

The bell couldn't have jingled sooner and she and Karkat skittered out of the room to avoid any discussion with the professor. Karkat tapped her on the shoulder to which she replied with, "I might be blind, but I'm not that blind you know."

"I know, you notice things that I almost never even fucking bother to take into consideration."

"I'm detecting..." she sniffed his hair jokingly "Sarcasm and new shampoo."

"Weirdo." He grumbled.

"Oblivious." She shot back over several giggles.

They walked quickly to the cafeteria and they each bought a lunch and sat at their usual spot, a small table for four in the shadiest corner of the patio. Terezi gave her food an avid sniff before she began to shove food in her mouth. Karkat gave her a look of disgust.

"How in fuck's sake can you eat food like that?"

She grinned, "At least I don't eat like this" she opened her mouth and began purposefully missing her mouth with her fork. She closed it and giggled as Karkat grimaced at her again.

She pushed her red-tinted sunglasses up her nose and finished off lunch. She then waved Karkat a cheerful goodbye and headed to her dorm room.

Karkat was one of her two real friends in college; he didn't seem to really care about the fact that she was blind. He even knew how it had happened, and in a way, he tried his best to understand what she was going through. He was only rude, because that was just his demeanor. She sighed and her ever-present smile dropped to a neutral expression. She figured that he only really acted like he was angry because he would accidentally project his self-loathing onto other people, only... he hadn't really figured that out yet.

She unlocked her door and heard her roommate shuffling around on her bed. Terezi smiled slightly and said quietly, "You know you don't have to hide your silly supernatural romance novels every time I come in the room, it's not like I can see them or anything."

Her roommate, Kanaya smiled, "Oh but I do, because you'll find them and read them."

"Of course I won't, it's not in Braille."

They laughed as Terezi flopped over into her bed. She pulled her laptop onto the bed and began to softly play rock music and began a report that would be due on Monday, which was in three days. Terezi smiled to herself as she heard Kanaya pull out her silly romance novel and continue reading. After a while Kanaya sighed, "I love the music you play."

Terezi glanced over at her roommate, "Thanks, no one's ever told me that before."

"Well, time to go to work!" Kanaya stood up quickly and gathered her purse and her book, "I'll see you later! Oh, and I have a date, so don't wait up!"

Kanaya gave Terezi a quick peck on the cheek and went out the door.

Terezi sighed; Kanaya almost always had to work on weekends as a bartender at a gay bar. Not only was Kanaya a lesbian, but she was perhaps the most flamboyant one Terezi had ever met. Kanaya's personal style was a mix between fashionably girly and gothic, which was what made Terezi giggle a lot when they had first met. Terezi dropped her smile again. Kanaya and Karkat were her two most favorite people in the world. It was always hard to keep smiling for them, but it was worth it. The way she saw it was that as long as she kept smiling, then everything would be okay in the end.

Terezi rolled over onto her stomach and retrieved some construction paper and scissors from the desk next to her bed. She rolled back over and propped her feet up on the wall as she began to cut a shape into the paper. She smiled secretly as she put the scissors back into the desk. She stood up and got two scented markers and kneeled in front of the desk. She carefully decorated the slip of construction paper and then quickly shoved it into her pillowcase.

No one can know.

She changed into some shorts and a tank top, flicked off the lights and tossed herself into bed. As she curled up in her sheets, her mind drifted into its own world, not only of the past, but of the voices that spoke in the present.


	2. You Forgot: That Bitch is Dead

She stumbled over a chunk of something, to her bare foot, if felt like a chunk of concrete. She kept running, her chest heaving. She turned around and could only see the glow of a flaming house, only one or two miles away. She sobbed; it was so hard to see anything, especially at night. She cursed herself for being so fucking stupid as tears began to wind their way down her bruised and battered face.

WEAKLING.

She didn't know who said that, but she didn't want to find out, she kept running as fast as she could through the grass.

You can do it honey!

Terezi's foot caught in a hole and she fell forward into the dirt, unwilling to continue. She heard helicopters and closed her eyes. I can't go on.

I hope you die here. Get up you piece of shit.

The light began to beam down on her and she heard more voices, all molding into a slurry of static-y background noise. They all began to chant repeatedly and in unison:

"Terezi, Terezi,  
Burnt her up!"

Terezi awoke, her heart pounding. The touched her cheek and licked the moisture on her fingers. She recognized the taste anywhere, fresh tears. She swatted her hand on her shorts and listened to the sounds in the room. She heard the humming of a computer that had fallen asleep and the gentle sound of Kanaya snoring. Terezi exhaled in relief and gently touched her chest, just above her heart.

I was just a dream... just a dream, YOU STUPID BITCH.

She ignored the angry voice that finished her thought and shifted around on the hard mattress.

It'll be okay, honey. She's dead now, she can't hurt you anymore.

Terezi just sighed and planted her face in the pillow and sniffed her shampoo. Cherries. She sighed, as the scent was not only her favorite, but it always calmed her when she was upset. She rolled back over and tried her best to pass into an uninterrupted slumber.

Terezi awoke to an obnoxious Adele song blaring on her alarm clock radio. She grimaced and slapped the infernal music away. She pulled herself out of bed and turned on her laptop and played a more respectable song, more specifically one that would cheer her up after that Gog-awful nightmare. "Everybody Loves Me" by One Republic began to play and she grinned. Kanaya stirred and shifted in her sleep. She was almost impossible to wake up from a deep sleep.

After a quick run through the shower and a fresh pair of dark jeans and a turquoise shirt, she slipped on her glasses and hustled her ass out the door to her morning art class.

After a refreshing dose of art, she headed to psychology, and then to physics with Karkat.

She grinned as she heard him put a note on her desk and she traced it with her fingers:

WHAT ARE YOU SO HAPPY ABOUT?  
H4V3NT YOU F1GUR3D OUT TH4T 1M 4LW4YS H4PPY K4RKL3S?  
YEAH YOU FUCKASS, I JUST CAN'T UNDERSTAND HOW YOU COULD POSSIBLY *BE* HAPPY AFTER WHAT THAT BITCH DID TO YOU.  
YOU FORG3T TH4T TH4T B1TCH 1S D34D :[  
RIGHT... FUCK, I'M SORRY FOR BRINGING IT UP. I FEEL LIKE A TOTAL DOUCHE NOW... SO, UM, SORRY. D:B  
4POLOGY 4CC3PT3ED, K4RKL3S! HOW 4R3 TH1NGS W1TH YOUR N3W ROOMM4TE? WH4TS-H1S-F4C3?  
HIS NAME IS FUCKING SOLLUX CAPTOR AND HE'S AND INSUFFERABLE DOUCHEBAG WHO CONSTANTLY PLAYS SHITTY MUSIC. I HATE HIM SO FUCKING MUCH.  
W3LL... 1 TH1NK TH4T YOU SHOULD G1V3 H1M 4 CH4NC3 TO B3 YOUR FR13ND... 1T COULD DO YOU W3LL TO H4V3 4NOTH3R FR13ND OTH3R TH4N M3 :]  
BULLSHIT!  
H3H3H3H3H3 YOU W1SH

Karkat crumpled up the pen and marker-stained note and shoved it in his pocket, clearly done with the conversation and Terezi had to work to suppress her giggles.

Stop giggling you idiot, the teacher is giving you the evil eye.

Sure enough, over the slightly-furious scribbling of pencils, Terezi could hear the professor shuffling to face the board again as he spoke. She smiled innocently to the back of the professor's head and then made a silly face for good measure. The bell rang.

Terezi and Karkat made their way down the hall, Terezi practically skipping and Karkat grumbling about how stupid she looked.

She stopped skipping and looked down at her feet as her smile dwindled, "Hey Karkles... I wanted to talk to you about this dream I had last night."

"Was it about, uh, Vriska?" he voiced genuine concern.

Terezi flinched, as she hadn't heard that name since she was sixteen years old. "Kind of, why don't we just get to our table and stuff and then I'll tell you."

The silence that passed between them was awkward and full of unsure worry. As they set down their trays, Terezi let out a long sigh from between her teeth because she knew that this was going to be hard. She hated to have to re-live anything that had to do with her past. She moved over next to Karkat before explaining her dream.

After she finished her story, the two sat in silence for awhile before Karkat finally said, "Shit, Terezi, I'm sorry for that all of that fucking bullshit happened to you all those years ago. I wish that I could have fucking been there to—I don't even fucking know. I guess to help you or some shit."

"Thanks Karkat, I just... I think that maybe now I'm really getting around to getting over what happened..." she began to feel her eyes burn a little and she picked up her fork and began to cram as much food into her mouth to keep from crying.

Karkat was a little stunned that she had called him by his real name; she had always called him "Karkles" ever since he had told her his name for the first time. Unsure of what to do, he simply sat awkwardly next to Terezi and poked at some of the peas on his plate. Finally, he just sighed and said, "You want me to come over tonight or something? I know Kanaya's going to be working or whatever and I seriously need to get the fuck away from Sollux for awhile."

Terezi chewed slowly while she mulled it over for awhile. A co-ed sleep over. She could use the company on a Saturday night; it wasn't like she was going anywhere on a Saturday (unfortunately).

Why not?  
You could always tell him about us!  
No, I can't do that yet.  
WHY THE FUCK NOT, JACK ASS?  
Because I don't even know how in the world you guys ended up in my head either. Now shut up.

"Sure," she said, putting on a grin, "But you're bringing the booze, since mine has a tendency to disappear by morning."


	3. The Note

Karkat rolled his eyes at her and stood up. He mumbled a grump, yet casual "See you later" and went off to Gog-knows-where. She smiled as she rose with her tray in both palms and headed to the garbage can. Someone shoved her from behind, causing her to almost drop her partially empty tray on the floor. She turned around and heard footsteps retreating into a crowd and she knew there was no way the she'd be able to find them in it. She turned and dumped the remainder of her food into the garbage and headed back to her dorm.

Stupid jerk. I hope they step on a Lego... or a four-sided dice.

Terezi pushed open the door to her dorm room, only to find it to be empty. She sat down at the desk and found a note taped to it: Out For The Weekend Ill Be At A Hotel In Town If You Need Me. ~Kanaya

Below was the address of the hotel she was staying. Terezi sniffed the note: watermelon. Kanaya was almost there with the "writing Terezi notes in scented markers"; she just needed to remember that cherry red or blueberry turquoise were the best scents to write them in. Terezi smiled and stuffed the note in her pocket and went to the mini fridge crammed in between Kanaya's bed and the desk. As she felt around, she found a bunch of grapes in a bowl, two large cans of (assumingly) apple-flavored tea, a few packs of popcorn in a bowl, and a jar of maraschino cherries (which Terezi first thought were olives, but after eating about ten, she was quite sure they were cherries).

Terezi put all the food on top of the microwave that was also stacked precariously on top of the mini fridge. She booted up the computer and logged onto Netflix, where she attempted to find a good movie for about ten minutes. She then gave up because there was no way in hell she was going to watch the shitty Cage flick her internet buddy, John, had recommended to her. She decided that she would just stick with Doctor Horrible's Sing-Along Blog and Little Shop of Horrors. Terezi had always liked the singing in those movies and they had always made her laugh. Plus, there was a little romance in them, since Karkat had always liked rom-coms anyway.

She rested her head on her desk after she turned on a few softer tunes. She sat there quietly for Gog knows how long until she heard a knock at the door. She rose out of her chair and headed for the door. As she opened it, she was greeted with a twelve pack of shitty beer and a sample container of cherry blossom perfume.

Terezi felt her cheeks flush slightly before she regained her composure. She grinned, truly ecstatic that she and Karkat were going to get to have a musical-horror-tragicomedy movie night together. Karkat walked into her dorm room and closed the door behind him before setting the beers down in front of Terezi's bed and quickly putting the tiny perfume sample bottle on the counter in the small bathroom.

"You'd better fucking drink all of this beer, it cost me a decent amount of money." Karkat grumbled after he came out of the bathroom.

"Duh, why else wouldn't you of bought it? You should already know that I hold my alcohol well!" she grinned, "Now do me a solid and put the popcorn in the microwave. I didn't want to accidentally burn it like last time."

"What the fuck did you do 'last time'?"

"I watched some romance movies with Kanaya and I almost caught the microwave on fire."

Karkat wrinkled his nose and shoved two bags of popcorn in the microwave, "Fucking really, Terezi?"

"Really, Karkles." The sentence was followed with more giggling as she retrieved a few grapes from the bowl and popped them into her mouth.

"Hey Terezi, hold still." Karkat said as he reached his hand out to Terezi's back, "There's a weird fucking note taped to the back of your shirt."

"Huh?"

Karkat gently plucked the note and unfolded it. He handed it to Terezi and she sniffed it. She recognized that marker scent anywhere: special edition blue raspberry. Her face creased with a wide flurry of emotions as she traced over the note with her fingers:

That 8itch isn't dead.  
Our g8me isn't over.  
You still h8ven't paid dearly enough  
for those words th8t you said.


	4. Beer and Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: If anyone has anything like PSTD, you have been warned about the last fifth of the story

Terezi began to feel dizzy and sat down on her bed, her chest began to tighten and her breathing began to speed up. She'd had this happen to her before and she knew the feeling all too well.

She curled in a ball as the panic attack and the horrible memories began to overtake her. The fires, Vriska's angry blue eyes, the last thing she ever saw with flawless vision, everything that had mentally, physically, and emotionally scarred her for life from the past arose up in her mind along with the bile in her throat. She leapt off the bed and ran into the bathroom where she hunched over the toilet, heaving her lunch and everything else that was in her stomach. Karkat ran in after her, and since he was not really sure what to do, he just kneeled next to her, held back her hair and gently patted her back until she was finished dry heaving. Terezi reached up and flushed the toilet and whispered "Water, please."

Karkat grabbed a cup by the sink and filled it with tap water. He handed it to her and she turned around and took the cup and downed it. Her face was beaded with sweat and tears were running down her face. He took the cup from her and filled it again and she chugged it. Karkat handed her a strip of toilet paper and she wiped off her mouth and tossed it in the toilet.

Why does he have to see me falling apart at the seams? Gog, why did I think that this would be a good idea? I'm so FUCKING stupid.

Karkat looked away, his cheeks were red with anger, he said quietly "She was that cruel to you. Wasn't she? She was so fucking caught up in her fucking perverse game that you react like this every time you hear her name or feel a note from her... I hope she fucking dies again for doing this to you!"

"I always assumed she was dead and couldn't hurt me anymore after that fire." Her smile was weak, but determined. "Why don't we just watch the movies I picked out, okay?"

Karkat frowned, "Well, if that's what you want to do..."

"It is. Now get the popcorn out of the microwave and let's watch some good movies for once." A grin played across her face.

Karkat stood up and helped her up off of the tile floor. Terezi went and sat on her bed as Karkat dumped the popcorn into a bowl.

"Karkles...I'm sorry you had to see me like that."

Karkat looked at her, "Terezi, everyone has a weakness or something that makes them cry. That just means that you're fucking human."

He picked up the snacks and turned the monitor to face the bed. He sat down next to her and they sat together and made snide remarks about the movies as they played. Finally, once Terezi was feeling good enough, the two of them cracked into the beer.

"Karkles, I'm pretty fucking sure that you shouldn't drink anymore of those. You've already had, like, five." Terezi giggled and burped. This was followed by more giggling.

"Fuck you Terezi." Karkat said, he had already begun to feel the effects of the four beers he had already drank, "You've had fucking seven."

"Yeah, and you know that I can drink more."

"I actually don't think that you should have any more of this shit." He said with disdain.

She grinned as he began to put the remainder of the beer into the fridge. "You're no fun. Kanaya always let me drink up to ten, but"—she hiccupped—"that was usually the number I'd drink until I passed out."

"Answer me this: hasn't it ever occurred to you that you'd do something incredibly fucking stupid while you were drunk off your ass?"

Terezi grinned, "What? Something like this?"

She kissed Karkat on the cheek.

Karkat's cheeks flushed a deep red, "Yes. Just like that. Please. Never fucking do it again. Ever."

She laughed like an idiot and put her feet up on the wall, something she did on a regular basis. She felt the alcohol beginning to take over the rational part of her brain. It was in that instant that she knew she had drank too much to be around Karkat, but... she didn't really care. She was drunk after all.

"So how's the roommate? Uh... Pollux Castor, right?"

"His name is fucking Sollux Captor! How many fucking times am I going to have to tell you?" his face creased with anger, "He's a big fucking asshole who types lines of binary when he mentally loses his shit and he wears these stupid fucking dual colored glasses. And another thing he always talks with this stupid lisp, I mean, how lame is fucking that? Oh and let's not forget that—Terezi, are you okay?"

She had passed out while Karkat was ranting, the only reason he had noticed was because her feet had slid off of the wall and landed on the bed with a dull thud. Her cheeks were a flushed pink, her red glasses were askew on her face.

Karkat sighed and gently removed her glasses and put them on the desk. He actually smiled to himself. She looked like a little kid that was all tuckered out. He put a hand to her forehead. She was a little feverish. He put a blanket over her and almost contemplated doing something very out of character and nixed the thought almost immediately.

She was drunk when she kissed your cheek, dumpass.

He sighed and moved her pillow under her head.

He wasn't really sure what to do for his own bed, so he just took a sheet off of Kanaya's bed and curled up on the floor next to Terezi's bed, worrying over the note that Terezi had forgotten about in her drunken stupor.

When she awoke, she found her hands were bound at the wrists above her and she was in a dark and moldy-smelling place. Sunlight filtered through a dust and mold-encrusted window high up on a wall to her left. She frowned. She was in a basement as far as she could tell, where, she didn't know. Recalling the memories of her previous encounter with Vriska, she deduced that she was in Vriska's basement. Well that was pretty obvious.

The door opened and the lights flicked on and she blinked multiple times to adjust to the new brightness. Vriska took her time descending the wooden steps. In one hand, she carried a pocket knife, and in the other, a lighter. Vriska stood in front of her: a grin spread across her lips as her dark blue eyes looked into Terezi's teal. She carefully cut away Terezi's shirt, careful to not let the slender blade touch her skin.

Terezi shot a glare at Vriska, "So this is how you deal with me leaving? Abandonment issues? After all I did to fucking help you, and now you won't let me just fucking walk away?"

"Oh but you can never walk away, dear." Vriska had cut away the remainder of Terezi's shirt and was contemplating cutting off her bra, but decided against it. "Don't you remember? You swore when you joined us."

The tips of Terezi's fingers began to tingle and the scar across her right palm burned with the memory. "Yeah I remember. I don't want to be Fire Eyes anymore Spider Eyes."

Vriska's eyes widened at the vile use of her code name. "I'll give you one last chance to take everything back and I won't burn the heart out of you."

"You're really that fucking desperate?"Terezi grimaced and spat in Vriska's face, "I'd rather die than kill more innocent people."

Vriska pouted "Have it your way."

She took the knife and dragged it across Terezi's stomach. Terezi flinched as the pain began to work its way to her brain. Vriska cut her again and the blood began to drip down from the 'V' that had been carved into Terezi's stomach. It wasn't until Vriska held the lighter up to the wounds that tears of agony began to slide down Terezi's cheeks.

I will not scream. I will be silent. She will not get enjoyment out of this.

The dark blue-eyed girl's lips puckered into a spoiled child's pout. "Why won't you scream, Fire Eyes?" She took the knife and stabbed her in the gut (not enough to potentially kill) and twisted. She held the lighter under the blade, making the metal hot. "WHY WON'T YOU FUCKING SCREAM?"


	5. FUCK

Terezi sat bolt upright in bed, feeling her stomach clench and the damp perspiration that caused the day's clothes to stick to her skin uncomfortably. On top of that, she had a hangover due to the previous night's antics. She tried to force herself to breathe at a slower pace and failed miserably.

Karkat sat up and she heard him turn to face her. "Are you okay?"

"Just a dream," she whispered. She felt a pang in her heart. It was fear, mixed with anger and hurt and sadness. It was the feeling that the once haunting memory could become a reality; that it couldn't drown in the past with all the other scars and pain that secretly adorned her body.

Karkat noticed that this was the first time that he had seen her without her glasses on. Her eyes were completely blood red, even over where there should have been pupils. He was a little disturbed, but ignored the feeling. "Was it about fucking Vriska?"

The blind girl's eyes were distant, as if she were listening for something and then carefully calculating finally she sighed. "Yeah."

Terezi was angry as she felt her eyes sting. She quickly ran into the bathroom and slammed the door, locking it behind her. She sat in the bathtub and pulled her knees into her chest

FUCK. Why am I so weak that every memory of her causes me pain? I hate myself for this bullshit. YOU'RE SO FUCKING WEAK. At least you have your smile. Rot you bratty fucker.

"SHUT UP!" she screamed out loud. "Just fucking shut up! I'm so sick and fucking tired of hearing you putting me down constantly. Just fucking go away if you don't have anything nice to say to me." Her voice broke on the word 'nice' and tears began to roll down her cheeks and she cursed herself for being such a weak fool again.

Karkat had winced at every word she said. He sighed heavily and his whisper was barely audible through the door, "Well. If that's the way you feel about me. I guess I'll just fucking leave."

She heard him opening the door and she leaped out of the tub, almost falling down as her foot slipped on the smooth surface. She fumbled with the lousy stupid Gog-damned lock on the door and chased Karkat outside.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK. This can't be happening. I have to tell him.

"Karkat!" she yelled down the hall after him. "Come back!"

"Oh, you've made it abundantly fucking clear that you don't want anything to do with me, Terezi. Fuck off."

She knew he was crying as he walked. She didn't know how, she just did. There was a price to pay for keeping secrets and she was paying heavily for hers now. A wave of nausea hit her as she ran, the world began to spin and her heart began to beat faster. A clump of carpet wrapped around her ankle and she felt her feet go out from under her.

She banged her chin on the ground, but she didn't care. "KARKAT! PLEASE!" she got back up and kept running to him until she tackled him.

They were both in a heap on the floor. Karkat tried his best to hide his face by looking away and saying, "Fuck, get off me."

Seeing no other option, it suddenly became clear to Terezi the feeling that had been playing in the back of her mind every time she had thought or seen Karkat. She came to the realization of what she had to do.

She looked him straight in the eyes and leaned into him. Their lips met halfway and she truly understood that feeling in her head.

She loved Karkat, and she just proved it to not only him, but herself.


	6. Admitting There's Something Wrong

As they separated, Karkat tried to get up, but Terezi pinned him down. She slapped him across the face. "Don't make assumptions you idiot! I wasn't yelling at you!"

"I was the only Gog fucking person in the room! Who the fuck else would you have been yelling at?"

Terezi paused.

Gog, am I really that fucking stupid? I'm such an idiot. He doesn't know about the voices.

She got off of Karkat and grabbed his collar to help him up. She felt him trying to get away and she dragged him closer behind her, "What the fuck! Let go—choofusackslkjsdafg!"

She stuffed the side of her hand in his mouth and he bit her; she didn't really care. This was something that he really needed to know. When she reached the dorm room she mentally cursed as she grabbed the spare key from above the door frame. She opened the door and shoved Karkat through it and closed it behind her. She sat down in front of the door and refused to let leave. Terezi waited for Gog knows how long until he had calmed down sufficiently enough for her to have a reasonable discussion with him.

He collapsed onto her bed and looked away, "Why."

"What?"

"Why did you fucking say that?"

"Because..." She looked away, her conscience tearing that her insides. "I have these voices... In my head... and they always call me names... and I hate them. My mind is almost never silent because they are always talking, and not just to me... they talk to each other all the time."

Karkat looked back at her, "Why didn't you tell me before?"

He sounded hurt and very upset she winced a little and continued, "I thought you might have thought that I was crazy. I mean, crazier than I already am. I'm really sorry. I mean, I just wasn't really sure how to tell you."

"We could always go and see the physcologist. I mean... I don't fucking know, maybe she could help you or something."

"...yeah. I'd like that." A small smile began to dawn on her face as she looked up at Karkat. She stood up, "I guess you're not going to leave now, right?"

"I guess not."

Terezi sat down on the bed next to Karkat, "Sorry I had to kiss you... I just kind of knew that you'd listen to me if I did."

She put her head on his shoulder and smiled, "You smell nice... you changed your soap and shampoo to cherry. Didn't you?"

"Yeah." She felt him blush and fidget with his hands in his lap as he looked away.

She kissed him on the cheek again and put her head back on his shoulder and sighed. They sat there for who knows how long until Terezi finally said, "I hope you know that she's going to come after you too... Along with Kanaya."

"I know, but I think that we can fucking beat that bitch at her own game, we just need a plan."

Terezi stifled a yawn "Yeah, we definitely can. First let's just go to the psychologist, okay?"

"Okay."

In a few minutes, Terezi fell into a deep slumber filled with nothing but peaceful blackness.


	7. Girl With No Eyes

When Terezi awoke, she had her arm across Karkat's chest and felt a little gross due to the fact that she had had a little too much to drink yesterday. She blinked and knew that Karkat was probably sprawled out all over her bed. She had curled up against him in her sleep. She hadn't even changed out of the previous day's clothes.

Oops.

She carefully crept out of bed and grabbed a white t-shirt with a turquoise Libra symbol on the sleeve, along with a pair of black sweatpants. She slipped into the bathroom and locked the door behind her. No way was Karkat going to walk in on her taking a shower... "Accidentally" or otherwise.

She stood in the shower as the water poured down over her back and she just let her mind empty until there were no thoughts and only the sound of water tumbling down onto the floor of the shower. She sighed as the rare bliss of mental silence enveloped her brain. It was almost never quiet in her head, whether voices spoke or whether the lyrics of a catchy song or tune bounced around in her head, there was just no way for her to not think. After a very long time, she finally let her façade break down and tears began to mix with the falling tap water. She let her thoughts of self-loathing escape their container and she bit her lip to keep from sobbing. She hated it when she acted like this. She just wished that she could just fast-forward to the days when her past sixteen year-old self couldn't control her emotions. Perhaps, one day, she could truly be free of the tyranny and havoc the Vriska had wrecked across her life. She remembered the first time she had met Vriska. Everything was so black and white back then. Gog, how wrong she was.

"Hey, can I borrow some gum, new kid?" Terezi asked hopefully.

The other girl looked at her funny, "Who the hell are you and why do you want my gum?"

She blew a huge bubble and popped it in Terezi's face. It smelled faintly of cherries. "I was just asking... I like cherry bubble gum, that's all."

"Well..." the other girl dragged out the 'L' and the pause for a ridiculous amount of time. "Okay. I guess you can have a piece, but only because I have nine left and I prefer the number eight... You owe me."

Terezi took the gum and popped it into her mouth, enjoying the sweet and tangy flavor of artificial cherries, "Thanks!"

"Don't mention it, kid." The girl blew another pink bubble before popping it thoughtfully, "Say, what's your name, and how old are you?"

"Oh! Um, I'm Terezi and I'm fifteen. What about you?" She smiled expectantly.

"The name's Vriska. I'm fifteen too." She smiled knowingly, her dark blue eyes seemed to twinkle "I think you and me are going to go places, kid"

She walked away, the minimalist spider on the back of her shirt receding until she disappeared into a crowd of kids.

Terezi's mind snapped back to reality. She wondered how long she had been standing in the shower because the hot water was starting to make her calves stiff. She turned off the water and quickly toweled herself off. She sat on the toilet seat, lost in various trains of thought, along with the faint voices of commentators shooting down her ideas to get away from Vriska. She decided to just talk to Karkat about it, since she had accidentally dragged him into her problems. As she changed into her clothes she decided to just address the most important matter at hand: the college's psychologist.

Right. Karkat wanted Terezi to go and talk to her.

Terezi frowned as she slipped on her pants. She had never liked the lady who consulted with the student on their various career and mental health issues. As a matter of fact, she really just preferred to avoid Dr. Rose as much as possible; she honestly mildly creeped Terezi out with her slightly aloof and sarcastic demeanor. On the other hand, she was damn good at her job.

After a brief mental battle, she gave up and decided to allow herself to be dragged to this strange woman's office, if Karkat was going to go with her in the very least.

Terezi paused as she remembered the small sample bottle of perfume lying on her bathroom sink. She picked it up and rubbed a few drops on her neck. She then performed her morning rituals of brushing her hair and brushing her teeth twice to get the taste of stale, shitty beer and morning breath out of her mouth.

It was quite nice of Karkat to give her perfume, even if it was a sample. Perfume was fucking expensive and she knew that he really on had enough money for just him. She spit into the sink and rinsed her mouth out. Plus it was fucking cherry blossom. Fucking cherry blossom.

Terezi unlocked the door and opened it, only to find Karkat still lying on her bed, staring up at the ceiling.

"G'morning Karkles." She said happily.

He grunted before sitting up, his eyes were bleary and seemed to say "fuck off".

She grinned and said with a giggle "Shower's all yours."

Karkat stood up and almost tripped over an empty beer can and let out an agitated grunt that sounded like a mix between "fuck" and "oh shit". He disappeared into the bathroom and Terezi heard him turn on the shower. She smiled to herself as she plucked the beer can off of the floor and tossed it in the trash.

She took a whiff of the room and frowned. It was probably fairly messy due to the fact that all she could smell was yesterday's shitty beer. She sighed as she grabbed her laptop and checked Pesterchum. Nobody was on that she could really pester, so she just pulled up iTunes and began playing some Florence and the Machine music. She collapsed on the bed and closed her eyes as she listened to a song called "Girl with One Eye". She stared up at the ceiling and mouthed the words:

"She told me not to step on the cracks,  
I told her not to fuss and relax.  
Pretty little thing stopped me in my tracks,  
But now she sleeps with one eye open.  
That's the price she'll pay.

I took a knife and cut out her eye;  
I took it home and watched it wither and die.  
Well, she's lucky that I didn't slip her a smile,  
that's why she sleeps with one eye open.  
That's the price she'll pay.

I said, 'Hey, girl with one eye  
Get your filthy fingers out of my pie.'  
I said, 'Hey, girl with one eye  
I'll cut your little heart out cause you made me cry.'

I slipped my hand under her skirt.  
I said don't worry, it's not gonna hurt.  
Oh, my reputation's kinda clouded with dirt.  
That's why you sleep with one eye open,  
but that's the price you pay.

I said, 'Hey, girl with one eye,  
Get your filthy fingers out of my pie.'  
I said, 'Hey, girl with one eye  
I'll cut your little heart out cause you made me cry.'

You made me cry!  
You made me cry!  
You made me cry!

I said, 'Hey, girl with one eye  
Get your filthy fingers out of my pie.'  
I said, 'Girl with one eye  
Get your filthy fingers out my pie.'

I said, 'Hey, girl with one eye  
Get your filthy fingers out of my pie'  
I said, 'Hey, girl with one eye  
I'll cut your little heart out cause you made me cry.'"

Terezi sighed and tapped the spacebar.

That song never brought back any good memories.

She turned over in her bed and stared at the wall, or more accurately where she knew the wall was. She wondered where her glasses went and decided to ask Karkat if he ever got out of the shower. Perhaps she could high-tail it out of here before Karkat got out of the shower and she wouldn't have to talk to Dr. Rose.

Too late.

She heard the water in the bathroom shut off followed by a slipping noise and a string of profanities. Terezi emitted a noise that sounded like a cross between a giggle and a sigh and covered her mouth. Karkat would yell more profanities if he had heard her laughing at his misery. But then again, who wouldn't?

After a few minutes Terezi heard Karkat limp out of the bathroom as he dried off his thick hair. She managed to control her giggling. This time.

Karkat threw her a semi-adequate glare before tossing the towel over his shoulder. He grabbed her glasses from off of the night desk and put them on her head. "So, are we going to fucking do this, or what?"

Terezi froze at the growing anxiety in her gut and finally put on her glasses as it slowly thawed. "Yeah. We're doing it, man. We're making this happen."


	8. It's an Octopus Plushie (Hopefully)

The two teens exited the dorm room and passed by a small girl carrying a notebook with a Leo zodiac symbol on it. As she noticed the two leaving the dorm room together she squeaked and opened her notebook to write something down. She then ran past them into the dorms.

Karkat made a face and Terezi made one right back at him. They both were confused about what had just happened, but they somehow both knew that that girl was going to spread gossip around the school about how they had spent the night together. They did, but just not in that connotation.

Terezi and Karkat arrived at the building that housed pretty much all of the important offices, from the financial aid office to the nurse's office/the infirmary. Karkat and Terezi navigated down the maze of rooms and hallways (Terezi's anxiety grew with every step, but she did her best not to show it) until they came to a stop in front of a room with the label "Doctor Rose Lalonde, Psychologist" across the window in gentle, cursive print. Karkat knocked on the window gently and an even toned "come in" responded.

Terezi pulled open the door nervously, unsure of what to do. The scent of lavender and vanilla overwhelmed her as a breeze whistled out of the door and into her nose. She frowned slightly, but didn't say anything.

"Please, do come in. I hate to have any sort of conversation with you and your friend halfway out in the hall." The woman in the chair shifted as she grabbed a notepad from a coffee table.

Karkat led Terezi into the room and they both sat down on a light purple sofa that had a few octopus plushies and dark gray pillows. At least, Terezi assumed they were octopus plushies.

Dr. Rose clicked a pen and crossed her legs. "So why are you two here today? I'm assuming relationship problems?"

Karkat flinched slightly, and his best 'let's-not-swear-all-the-fucking-time' voice said "No, just no. That's not it at all. I came here with my friend Terezi because I want to...well...help her."

"Then why are you here, exactly?" Terezi heard a pen scribbling on paper.

Finally Terezi decided it was time to tell someone else, who wouldn't be in harm's way , even if that was a really, sort of creepy therapist lady who kept plushie octopi in her office (at least, she hoped they were plushie octopi).

"I..." Terezi began, "I have these voices... in my head... and I guess they kind of represent parts of my subconscious..."

Rose began scribbling notes furiously, listening as Terezi explained about the various voices that constantly would put her down and laugh at her, and the one voice that actually would support her. Karkat sat beside her throughout the entire thing, nervously rubbing his thumb across her knee. Terezi could tell that he didn't like Rose either, he could see her office and it was probably causing him to mildly flip his shit.

"So, at about what time did you start hearing these voices?" Rose asked the girl.

Terezi froze. She wasn't sure if she trusted this woman enough to tell her about her past yet. She might have been a psychologist, and that would have really been the only reason Terezi could trust her with the secret of her burden of her talkative self conscious, but the idea of revealing her past to a stranger? No way. Not now.

Terezi frowned and said, "About the time I went blind."

"How did you go blind?"

"I stared at food in a microwave for too long." Terezi's lips quirked up slightly.


	9. Death Threats Over Lunch

Terezi followed Karkat back to his dorm for two reasons, one: she still wanted to bug him and he needed to go and get his wallet for lunch, and two: she was curious about his roommate, Sollux.

Terezi poked Karkat in the cheek playfully as he unlocked the door to his room. The two were blasted by an onslaught of heavy rock music and the almost inaudible sound of someone typing lines of computer code. Karkat covered his ears and grimaced, "Do you have to play that bullshit so goddamn loud!?"

Sollux went to his iTunes account and paused the music. He spoke in a lisp "Calm your tits KK, it's only Breaking Benjamin. There's a lot more stuff that I could be playing instead. Who's the chick?"

Terezi grinned and giggled "I'm Terezi Pyrope. You like Breaking Benjamin too?"

"Fuck yeah, they have some pretty good songs." Sollux replied with a smug grin.

Karkat made a face at Sollux and Terezi elbowed him, "You two should really play nicer."

"You should really shut the fuck up."

"KK, you need to treat your girlfriend better."

Karkat's cheeks began to burn "She is not my girlfriend!"

"Then why is she in our room?" Sollux seemed to be enjoying himself.

"I wanted to meet you," Terezi said simply, "Karkat complains about you a lot."

"Oh he does, does he?"

"Oh yes," Terezi smiled. "Now let me feel your face so I can see what you look like."

Sollux was a bit startled by this remark, "What?"

"I'm blind, dummy." She pointed at her eyes, "I have to feel you so I know what you look like."

"Uh... well, okay. I guess."

She found Sollux's face and he took the face-groping like a man. He was obviously uncomfortable, but Terezi didn't mind. After all, that was usually the general reaction.

"You sir, have a nice face." She grinned and his face began to grow a little warm under her hands. She removed her hands hand clasped them together behind her back.

"Uh. Thanks. I guess." Sollux turned back to the computer and adjusted the volume to a lower level. He began to play Diary of Jane by Breaking Benjamin, only at a much more reasonable level. "I should probably get back to work; this web page isn't going to write itself."

Karkat threw his hands up in the air. He grabbed his wallet from the night stand, "Let's just fucking go."

He grabbed Terezi's hand and hauled her out the door. She giggled as they marched off to the café a short walk off campus.

Terezi felt a little paranoid about leaving the partial safety of the campus, but she decided to make Karkat her look out. They sat down and talked over Panini's and pasta. All was well... for now.

Days went by and nothing new occurred. Terezi could feel her paranoia growing a little out of control. She made sure that her schedule was somewhat erratic, taking different routes to class and visiting Dr. Rose semi-regularly. She knew that all of it was just a waiting game, but she didn't know how long Vriska would wait. She knew Vriska was impatient, but she didn't think that Vriska could be this patient. It was a waiting game that Terezi knew she was losing.

She was always with Karkat or Kanaya, and sometimes even Sollux, since they actually both had a few classes in common. Mostly, she stayed with Karkat because he was the person she began to feel closest to. She wasn't really sure what their relationship status would be. She wasn't really even sure if he had the same feelings for her, that she did for him. They had kissed, sure, but in the end, it was just a kiss. But then again, as the Killers once said, "It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this? It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss." Perhaps it could be the beginning of something more. After all, Karkat had recently taken up walking her to all, if not most of her classes and helping her study more.

Time flew by and about a month into the school year, she pulled up her Pesterchum, like she did everyday and found one user on. The only one that she had been watching for about a full month.

arachnidsGrip began pestering gallowsCallibrator at [14:31]

AG: Terezi you've made a 8iiiiiiiig mist8ke.

AG: You got too close to your precious "Karkles".

AG: You now have a 8ig decision to m8ke.

AG: You or him.

GC: WHY 4R3 YOU SUCH 4 FUCK1NG S1CK FUCK

GC: YOUR3 JUST J34LOUS TH4T 1M M4N1PUL4T1V3 W1THOUT B31NG D3C3PT1V3

GC: YOUR3 4 SH1TTY M4N1PUL4T1V3 B1TCH

AG: Are you saying that I'm shitty AND a manipul8tive 8itch?

AG: 8ecause I'm not shitty at 8eing a manupul8tive 8itch.

GC: HOW D1D YOU FUCK1NG SURV1V3 TH3 F1R3 4NYW4Y

GC: YOU SHOULD B3 D34D

AG: Modern health miracles. :::;)

AG: Also, I know someone who goes to your college.

AG: He's majoring in ro8otics.

AG: He fixed me riiiiiiiight up.

AG: You h8ve a decision to make now.

AG: I'll 8e expecting it as soon as possi8le.

arachinidsGrip ceased pestering gallowsCallibrator at [14:43]

Terezi 's heart raced. She slammed her laptop shut and quickly pushed it away from herself. Vriska knew where she was. Vriska knew who she could hurt. Vriska was going to make her pay.


	10. Losing the Waiting Game

Karkat can't get hurt. Way to go, moron.

Terezi felt her chest constrict and a strangled sob barely escaped from between her lips.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. FUCK. I can't just leave Karkat to die for me, that's not right. I can't choose between him or me. Tell Karkat.

She couldn't tell Karkat now, not in this state. She was on the brink of having a mental break down. She hated herself when she became like this. Terezi felt almost helpless. She felt a pain in her chest, like someone had just stuck a stake through her heart. It hurt for her to breathe. She curled into a ball and lay on her side in her uncomfortable bed.

Gog damn it. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Calm down. Calm. Down.

Finally, she just decided that she should get some sleep. Sleep was really the only escape for her now, even if it was constantly filled with terror and bad memories. Kanaya was there for her, nine times out of ten to calm her down when she awoke to having a panic attack.

As Terezi drifted away into the realm of her mind, another memory re-surfaced.

She giggled as she tossed the match onto the gasoline soaked house. The flame started easily, and began to snake its way around the house. It was like a gluttonous basilisk, slithering its way across the siding, consuming everything and only leaving behind a black trail of ash. It crackled at her in approval and she grinned. The color was red and orange, her favorite color. Gog, it was beautiful.

She stood back next to Vriska and Vriska smiled in approval, "That'll show him not to mess with us."

They stood next to each other and watched the flames begin to consume even more of the house. They left after they made sure the house would burn.

The next day, Tavros wasn't in school. Terezi began to grow worried that he might have been in the house when it was set aflame. But that was impossible; Vriska had made sure no one was home.

A week later, Tavros rolled into school in a wheel chair. It turned out a heavy board fell on him in his sleep and caused him to be paralyzed from the waist down.

Terezi felt a gut-wrenching guilt. She couldn't sleep for days and her lack of sleep began to stress the relationship she was in at the time. It felt like she could only talk with Vriska.

That was until she heard about what she had done to her boyfriend, Dave.

Terezi awoke in a damp sweat. She was definitely not ready to face those memories just yet. Those were too painful.

She heard Kanaya's gentle snoring and assured herself that everything would be okay, even though that was a complete lie. She was fairly sure everything was not okay. Nothing would probably be okay for a very long time, if ever.

She carefully moved into the restroom and splashed some water on her face. She looked ahead of her into the mirror. She couldn't see what she looked like, but she knew she probably looked awful. Her face felt greasy and she felt terribly groggy. She patted her head and found her hair to be horribly tangled and matted.

Fuck this, I'm just going to go back to sleep.

As Terezi retreated to the semi-comfortable mattress, she just couldn't fall asleep. She rolled over, annoyed. She touched the face of the clock by her bed. 3:41 am. Great.

She rolled back over and grunted.

After lying in bed for an undetermined amount of time, Terezi decided to just get ready for her morning classes and then head out for a morning walk and coffee... or something.

She quietly unlocked the door and headed out into the courtyard, cane in hand. As expected, no sane person would be wandering around at this hour. Of course, it wasn't really the sane people she was worried about.

She sat down at a table and read a book she had been assigned to read in class under the orange lights that provided other students a way to navigate the courtyard and Terezi an annoyance that she couldn't see, but hear.

She feverishly traced over the Braille, not really paying attention to the words, shifting her cane under her arm. The fact that it wasn't completely quiet made her very antsy, because it made it harder for her to hear anything above the buzzing of the lights and the noise of crickets and frogs grumbling about the early morning. Finally, she just couldn't take it anymore. Her paranoia and the what-ifs running around in her head had begun to make her very nervous, so she closed her book and shoved it back in her backpack. She needed comfort.

She knew where to go. She patted her pocket and checked to see if she still had a bobby pin tucked away in this pair of pants. Yep. Still there. She almost always had a bobby pin on her; she had gotten herself out of a few possible lock-outs with one of those suckers. She tucked it a little deeper in her pocket, just to make sure it wouldn't fall out.

She arrived at her destination and pulled the bobby pin out of her pocket. She curled it up a little on one side and began to pick the lock. It didn't take her long, seeing as how she'd pick about a million locks before. She turned the door knob gingerly and peered into the room. She could hear soft, sort of nasal breathing, which she assumed to be Sollux's breathing as he slept. On the other side of the room she heard very quiet breathing; she knew that this was Karkat.

She quietly crawled into the room and poked him in the side. He moved away from the edge of the bed and she gently dropped her backpack on the floor along with her cane. She crawled into bed as close to Karkat as she could and plucked and the back of his shirt. He turned toward her and she hugged him. He sure was warm. She kind of thought of him as a giant teddy bear. One that if you squeeze too hard will swear instead of saying dopey things like "Can I have another hug?" or "I wuuuuuuuuvvvvvvvv you".

She closed her eyes and the two of them stayed like that until she was able to fall asleep.


	11. Retelling the Past

Cherries.

Terezi awoke to the scent of cherries. She inhaled deeply and sighed happily. She felt a pair of arms wrapped around her and she smiled. Gog damned teddy bear man. She snuggled in closer to Karkat and inhaled the scent of cherries. She wished that the two of them could just stay like this until the end of forever. Wow she couldn't believe how corny all of that sounded.

She sighed again and opened her eyes. She couldn't hear Sollux's snoring, but she could hear the shower. Sollux may have been a bit of a smart ass, but he was actually a pretty good guy. He was at least decent enough to not make fun of Karkat all the time, and for not waking up her and Karkat. She decided that Sollux was definitely a friend to keep.

Finally Terezi sat up Karkat rolled on his back. She giggled as she got an idea. She sat on his chest and poked his face. He swatted her hand away. She poked his nose and he tried to roll over and failed miserably. She giggled and leaned forward and gently nibbled the end of his nose. He opened his eyes and glared at her.

"Getofg."

"No."

She smiled and moved off of him and he sat up. "I'd better still have my fucking clothes on."

They both heard the shower turn off and Terezi leaned on his shoulder. "Sleep well?"

"Until you came along and crawled in my bed, yes." He turned and sat next to her, their feet flat on the floor.

Sollux padded out of the bathroom "Look at you two love birds."

He threw Karkat a lopsided smile and Karkat retaliated by giving him the bird. Even though Terezi was blind, she laughed, knowing how those two acted around each other. She was glad Sollux had a great sense of boundaries, whereas Karkat...not so much.

Terezi stood up and smoothed out the shirt she was wearing. She had forgotten she had fallen asleep ready to go to her classes. She didn't have any classes. It was freaking Sunday. She mentally slapped her forehead.

So stupid.

She decided that now would also be a good time to tell Karkat about Vriska's message. She pulled her phone out of her backpack and pulled up the Pester Log and showed it to Karkat. As he read it she could practically feel his rage growing. She looked up at where she knew he was from under her glasses. He handed the phone back to her.

His voice trembled and began as a whisper and got louder and steadier as he spoke "Why is she so fucking intent on screwing you over."

His shoulders began to quiver, "I hope she dies. I hope she fucking dies for what she did to you. Now she wants you to choose between our fucking lives? That bitch. I'm so fucking sick of her hurting you and causing you pain. She needs to pay."

Terezi looked up at Sollux; he was about a head taller than she. She grabbed his ear and dragged him outside, which would have been quite comical, except considering the dire situation.

"Ow, ow, OW. Fuck that hurts." He hissed.

She released his ear, "You need to protect Karkat."

"What?"

She pouted "You heard me."

He frowned as he rubbed his ear "Yeah, I did. I don't understand what you mean."

"When I'm not around, I need you to keep an eye on him and make sure he's not doing anything stupid." She said 'not around' like someone would say 'black plague' or 'cafeteria meatloaf day'.

"So you mean becoming his protector, sort of." Sollux managed after a moment's pause.

She looked down "Yeah,"

"Terezi, I'm your friend. I don't want you to go off and die, okay?"

She looked up at him, startled.

He continued, "I don't want anything to happen to you, Karkat, or even Kanaya. You're all people that I care about. I might not act like it, but I care about Karkat too. Don't do anything dumb, okay? Okay?"

She nodded and gave him a hug. Today, it seemed that all of the men in her life were huggable, plush, comforting teddy bears. "Thanks Sollux. I owe you one."

They broke apart and he gently poked her cheek with his knuckle. "Don't you even fucking think about crying, missy."

She smiled and they both retreated back to the dorm room. Karkat hadn't moved an inch. He was sitting, staring blankly at his hands that were curled in his lap. Terezi kissed him on the cheek and he didn't say anything. Finally she ordered him to go take a shower and he obeyed.

Sollux sat at the desk and pulled up his iTunes account.

"Hey Sollux," she murmured.

"Yeah?"

"Two things: one, you're a really great guy. Two, can you play Rhinestone Eyes by Gorillaz?"

He smiled at the compliment and request and the song began playing. He began to type computer code, the clicking of the keys matching the tempo of the song. After a little while Sollux finally asked:

"So, out of curiosity... why is Vriska mad at you?"

Terezi was a little startled by this question. No one had been so direct about her and Vriska's past relations. She decided to just be brave and that she would have to face the truth sooner or later. Why not sooner? She also wondered about how he knew about Vriska. Then again, get Karkat drunk, you can get a lot of shit out of him.

She took a deep breath before she began, "I met Vriska in my freshman year of high school. She seemed like a decent person, and pretty soon we became friends. She eventually convinced me to be her 'Scourge Sister' and we basically tricked a lot of people out of, well, whatever we wanted from them.

Eventually we wound our way up the popularity ladder and I ended up meeting this really cool guy. His name was Dave and he had the most beautiful eyes that he kept hidden behind a pair of shades. I was really close to him, and I guess you could say that I truly loved him." She pulled her knees up on Karkat's bed and rested her chin on them, her chest tightening a little at the memory.

"She grew jealous and tried to go out with this adorable, really insecure, dorky guy named Tavros. I thought it was weird that she was going for a guy that was practically her opposite, but later I figured out that it was because it was very easy for her to manipulate him for her own needs. She eventually became infuriated with his lack of self-confidence and she convinced me that he had wronged her in a way I'd rather not say out loud. We burned his house, (we found out later that Tavros was paralyzed from the waist down.) and shortly after Vriska gave me the nick-name 'Fire Eyes' for how the fire reflected off of my eyes. They used to be a very beautiful and slightly pale turquoise."

Terezi paused hesitantly. She pulled off her glasses and stared at where she knew Sollux was. She heard him inhale sharply at the change of her eyes. She scrubbed both of them before putting on her glasses.

"Later, she met a friend of Dave's. He was kind of like Tavros in a way; he was an adorable dork too, but he was a lot more gentlemanly and less insecure than Tavros. He was a good guy. Although, Dave wasn't too happy about those two being together, and I couldn't blame him. It made him uneasy that a trouble-making girl like Vriska was dating his best friend. I decided to tell Vriska that I didn't agree with what she was doing; only when I did she snapped and told me that I was jealous of the two of them. I began to worry that she had gone off the handle, and it turns out she did.

She went crazy and killed Dave by hanging him in a tree in front of the school. The police just brushed it off as a suicide, but I knew better. I went to tell her that she went crazy and she knocked me out. I woke up, handcuffed to the wall. She... she tortured me in that basement. She stabbed me with hot knives; put hot coals on my stomach... on the eighth day she took a microwave and jammed it open. She made me stare into it until I went blind and then some. On the ninth day I used my feet to find a lighter and I somehow managed to throw it into a pile of laundry. I carefully unscrewed the screws that had wedged my handcuffs to the wall and I ran out of her house. I could barely see anything except for her house burning behind me. My eyes just got worse from then on. I collapsed in a field after running about two and a half miles away from that damned girl. I had always assumed she was dead after that. I guess not."

Terezi's eyes stung. She despised her past. She was so stupid. She rubbed her eyes to try and stop her tears.

Sollux sat in stunned silence, his hands frozen over his keyboard. He wasn't really sure what to say. Instead he just sat there as she sniffled a bit and rubbed her eyes. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

"That's really fucked up." He concluded aloud.

Terezi nodded in agreement, seemingly unable to speak.

Sollux turned to face her, "I mean, I don't really agree with what you did back then with her, but what she did to you was really fucked up. Now look, I'm not going to give you pity; that would be the opposite of what I'd want, if I were you. I'm just going to stand by your side like a shitty insurance commercial."

"Thanks, man." She managed after a few minutes of Gorillaz playing in the background.

She sound of pouring shower water ceased and Karkat came out of the bathroom in a fresh pair of black skinny jeans and a red and grey t-shirt. He looked a lot better than he had before, but his eyes still contained a slight vacant look.

"Morning KK."

"Fuck you."

"It's nice to see you two care about each other so much. I can feel the love in the air." Terezi laughed.

"Fuck you too."

"KK, there's no need to flip your shit."

"My shit is not flipped. It's sitting in the pan, calmly burning on one side, you fuck ass. You know what? Terezi and I are going to go out. Go talk to Aradia or Feferi, or one of the girls that you have crawling all over you right now." Karkat grabbed Terezi's wrist and dragged her out of the door. She could have sworn she heard Sollux reply with "Wish that you had crawling all over you.", but the door swung shut before she could be sure.


	12. The Bargain

They headed towards the cafeteria today.

"We need a fucking plan, Terezi." Karkat said.

Terezi raised her eyebrows, "Oh?"

"What the fuck do you mean 'oh'? We need a way to off Vriska or something."

Silence ensued until they sat down at their usual lunch table; Karkat had his back to the wall in order to keep an eye on the courtyard.

Terezi chewed her burger thoughtfully "It all depends on where she wants to meet. Also, who we want to involve... I mean, she uses chloroform to get people. That was how she got... you know...Dave."

"You don't think that we could just tie her up and hand her over to the fucking police?"

"Nope. She's got all sorts of shit hidden on her; knives, bobby pins, razors... Gog only knows."

"Right." Karkat seemed to radiate a slight queasiness at the thought of having to kill someone. "So, sneak attack?"

"Yeah. Vriska loved to play games, especially ones left to chance. I could always challenge her."

"Woah, woah, woah, fuck that. You're not going to go in there."

Terezi grimaced, "You know I'm the only one who could deal with her. You could really only serve as bait, in all honesty."

"Fine." Karkat didn't sound too pleased, "So here's a plan I came up with."

After spending almost two hours on a plan that Terezi knew wasn't going to work, Terezi and Karkat headed back to Terezi's dorm to work on physics homework. There, they found Kanaya prepping for yet another date.

"Going out again?" Terezi asked ask Kanaya slipped on a pair of black flats.

Kanaya stood and smiled a bit "Yeah. I've been rummaging about on an internet dating site. I'm going on a blind date." Kanaya smoothed out her red, ankle-length skirt.

The blind girl laughed at the irony. "Okay, just be careful, okay?"

"I will." Kanaya headed out the door and paused, "Don't you two trash the room like last time, okay?"

Terezi and Karkat looked away from each other, their cheeks beginning to flush. Kanaya smiled and closed the door behind her.

The duo began set to work on their homework, enjoying the sound of soft rock and classical music emanating from Terezi's iTunes account. The evening was quite cheerful and upbeat; even if Karkat swore profusely every time he didn't understand something.

Eventually the two ended up falling asleep in a heap on Terezi's bed. At about three in the morning a loud knock resounded on the door. Terezi stumbled out of bed and opened it, thinking Kanaya would be there, but there was no one. She listened intently for any sort of noise in the hallway, but there was none. Terezi almost closed the door when she caught a whiff of something.

Limited edition blue raspberry marker.

She groped the door and found a note stuck to it. Terezi retreated inside the room and woke up Karkat. He sat up, still groggy from sleep. As he was about to let loose a slurry of swear words she shoved the note in his face. He went quiet almost immediately. Terezi unfolded the note and traced it with her finger with Karkat reading it over her shoulder:

Tell Kanaya I apreci8 her buying me dinner for our d8.  
Hurry up and m8ke your decision.  
Or she dies by next Friday.

Terezi's hands began to shake. Her stomach felt as if someone had just punched a hole right through it. She gently dropped to her knees, the worn carpet on the floor digging into them. She leaned against Karkat's calf. She felt a mix of numbness and disbelief.

I'm so fucking stupid. How could I have not seen this coming? YOU IDIOT. God, you're so stupid. This was so obvious you jackass. Gog, I'm so stupid...I could've done something to stop this from happening.

Her cheeks began to feel damp, and it was like she was looking down on herself. She could see in her imagination what she looked like, as if she were a passerby at a distance. She had no control over her body; all she could do was watch as Karkat knelt down and pulled her into an awkward hug. He was blushing furiously and scrubbed at his eyes a bit too. They sat there as seconds, minutes, who knows how long passed by.

They broke apart "Karkat, just go back your room, okay?"

"What? Fuck no. I'm not leaving you alone here. Not now."

"Gog damn it, Karkat. I need to be alone for a little bit, if you can't respect that I'm kicking you out of my room."

"Fine," he sighed and threw his hands in the air. "I'll just take a shitty walk of something for twenty minutes and then come back."

Terezi frowned and patted her pants, wondering what she kept in this pair. She found a pocket knife. "Take this, just in case. Also, keep your ears open."

Karkat took the knife and studied it tentatively.

"Alright. Where did you get this knife?"

"I stole it from Vriska." Terezi looked down, her expression, somber.

Karkat gently kissed her forehead and headed out the door. She sat on the floor in silence for a bit and decided to get down to business.

She went to her laptop and pulled up Pesterchum. She knew that Vriska would be online.

gallowsCallibrator began pestering arachnidsGrip at [14:13]

GC: YOU KNOW TH4T TH1S 1S JUST B3TW33N YOU 4ND M3 YOU B1TCH

GC: K33P K4RK4T 4ND K4N4Y4 OUT OF 1T

GC: YOU HON3STLY H4V3 NO FUCK1NG M4NN3RS

AG: I h8 to disappoint you, 8ut they are connected to you, so I can use them to get to you.

AG: Unfortun8ly, Karkat doesn't go on internet d8ing sites.

AG: Oh well.

GC: F1N3

GC: T4K3 MY FUCK1NG L1F3 1NT34D OF K4N4Y4S OR K4RK4TS OK4Y >:[

GC: 1 H4V3 L3SS WORTH TH4N TH3 TWO OF TH3M COMB1N3D

GC: UNL3SS 1T COM3S TO YOU

AG: Wonderful.

AG: Meet me at the old pole 8arn that we used to hang out at.

AG: 8ring no one.

AG: I will see you on frid8y.

AG: 8uh-8ye now. ::::)

arachnidsGrip ceased pestering gallowsCallibrator at [14:31]

Terezi sat back on her bed. So the bargain was struck.


	13. Smiles

Karkat knocked on the door and Terezi let him in the room. In both hands he had a cup of hot, hot coffee. He handed her one and she blew on it to cool it off. She grinned thanks at him over the coffee. For all she knew she only had less than a week to live. She knew how she felt about Karkat.

She set her coffee down on the desk and wrapped her arms around his waist. He followed suit. She smiled a bit and simply said, "I care, Karkles." And their lips met.


	14. Four More Days

Terezi ran her hands through Karkat's hair. It was thick enough for her to be able to mess it up no matter what she did to it. She laughed as Karkat muttered something under his breath.

"Hey I heard that!"

"You're a really shitty liar, you know that?"

Terezi grinned playfully, "Oh am I?"

He turned around and kissed her jaw and she giggled.

Terezi decided that she wanted to do as much as she could before she faced her death; or at least get a few things crossed off the bucket list.

She grinned as she slipped on Karkat's turtle necked sweater. "How can you wear these things? They're so baggy. But they are comfortable as fuck."

"Give that back you ass!" He stood up and tried to grab the collar and she jumped out of the way.

She giggled, "No 'cause I'm fucking Karkat Vantas! Bluh, bluh, bluh, bluh!" She took off the shirt and tossed it to him.

He grabbed it and slipped it on over the white tank top he was wearing. She smiled and plucked her shirt off the floor with her toes. She slipped it over her head and smoothed it.

She kissed him on the forehead and looped her thumbs through the belt loops of his dark jeans. She smiled and bumped their foreheads together. He still smelled like cherries, with the addition of her cherry scent. She smiled again.

"Want to go out for a bit?" she whispered.

Karkat smiled a little bit, "Sure, why the fuck not?"

They headed out of the dorm room, hand in hand. This time they passed by the same girl, only a really tall guy in a blue muscle shirt was giving her a piggy back ride. Karkat almost made a face at the girl, except for the fact that a tall pile of muscle was lugging her around. The guy looked like he could squash Karkat flat in under a minute, so Karkat kept his mouth shut.

They went back to the café that they had started visiting as a special treat since about a month ago. They enjoyed lunch outside today, talking to each other and having fun. They probably should have gone to class, but they both had fairly good grades, and there were no major tests this week anyway.

After lunch, they hitched a ride to the park and spent the rest of the day feeding ducks and talking the day away.

Later, as Terezi lay in bed—alone—a thought entered her head in the unnaturally quiet room.

Four days left.


	15. Blue Lips, Blue Eyes

The next three days passed a little too quickly for Terezi. She wished that she could have hung out with Sollux and Karkat more, but like Kris Allen once said in the song 'Live Like We're Dying ': "We've only got 864,000 seconds in a day to turn it all around". Unfortunately, there was no obvious way to budge Terezi's fate.

She shifted uncomfortably in the stiff plastic bus seat. She could feel someone staring at her, which was weird, considering the fact that she was a fairly modest dresser. She tightened her grip on her cane, ready to possibly beat the shit out of anyone who tried to assault her. She felt terrible about leaving Karkat a note, but she knew how he would react and how he would attempt to stop her from facing Vriska. In the end, she knew she could pull his strings better than he could. The bus pulled into her stop and she started on the long walk to the pole barn.

Terezi wasn't really sure what to expect, but she could feel the slight tingling of dread in her stomach. Everything depended on Karkat serving as an adequate distraction, and if he didn't show, she was probably screwed. Or course, these were all what-ifs and last minute panic-y thoughts. She knew Karkat would be dumb enough to charge into her rescue. That was the whole point of leaving the note. She knew he would be reading the note right about now, cursing as he ran out the door, Sollux in pursuit.

The dry grass crunched beneath her feet and the noise of a bird flapping its wings startled her. The noise of the crickets accompanied her hurried footsteps. She was mildly freaking out, here. Okay. That was a lie. She was really mentally losing her shit.

One corner of her mouth dipped down in a grimace. The Gog damned barn should around here—OH.

She had just banged her cane into something hard and metallic. The noise reverberated several times until the only noise was that of the crickets.

Terezi wandered into the empty pole barn, trying her best to saunter, only failing miserably. There were a few stray poles that she had carefully stepped over. After nearly tripping over one and causing it to ring out, she heard rustling from overheard and some faint squeaking. Bats. Bats and mice. Fucking bats and mice that she couldn't see. She tapped her cane when it touched a wooden crate. She climbed up onto it and sat down, her feet almost a foot off the ground.

Better safe than sorry.

She sat patiently, waiting for the other girl to arrive. She heard the sound of converse on once-polished concrete. Terezi felt her heart skip a beat. She didn't know what Vriska was capable of now. She griped her cane tightly. She had clipped the original end with a pair of shears to give it a sharp point. She had put the rubber tip back on to conceal it, but it fell off often.

She heard the sound of lips being pulled across teeth in a smile, the whirring of a mechanical arm. She decided to act like she hadn't heard anything .

"Over here Terezi!" Vriska yelled over a laugh.

Terezi feigned surprise "Oh Gog! You startled me."

The sound of a smiled again "You still use the word 'Gog'? Hah! Looks like Dave really rubbed off on you."

The footsteps stopped right in front of her. "Vriska, how's the arm and where's Kanaya?"

"Sitting outside, all bound and gagged. My arm is doing well, thank you for asking me."

"Oh really? I doubt that."

"UHG. Fine. I'll go get her."

Vriska retreated to the doorway of the pole barn and Terezi heard her dragging something heavy. She heard a grunt that belonged to Kanaya. She dropped Kanaya on the floor and Kanaya grunted again.

Terezi grinned, only it was more of a distressed grimace more than anything. "Thank you for bringing her."

"Now then, about your life..." Vriska let the sentence hang in the air.

Terezi didn't move. Karkat should be here in about five, four, three, two, one...


	16. I Don't Want to Die

Vriska was knocked down by a kick to the back of the head and Karkat fell down with her.

Vriska stood up and whipped around to face her attacker. Terezi took this opportunity to jump off of the crate and cut away Kanaya's ropes. While Karkat and Vriska were duking it out—Terezi heard the clash of a sickle and... was that a sword? Really?—Kanaya leaped out and yelled at Vriska "Hey bitch!"

Vriska turned round at the insult, clearly very angry, only to have Kanaya's fist connect with her left cheek and sending her to the ground. She landed in a few stray aluminum poles that banged loudly. The bats rustled over head, agitated about the commotion.

Terezi stood amidst all of this until she calmly said, "That's enough everyone."

Everyone seemed to freeze at Terezi's tone, except for Vriska, who just turned and smiled at her. They had never heard Terezi use that tone of voice before. To them, she had always been the happy-go-lucky girl with a fucked up past, but now they were seeing what Vriska had seen in her long ago.

"This is between me and Vriska." Terezi said. She began to kneel and Vriska stood in front of her. Terezi gripped her cane tightly, anxiety building in her chest.

Remember the plan.

Karkat choked on his words, "Terezi-"

"Karkat." She looked him in the face, he looked down, "It all will be okay. I... I love you."

"No. No it will not be fucking okay! Not if you fucking die! I can't live without you there! I need you to live!"

"I love you, Karkles." She smiled.

Vriska faked a loud and obnoxious yawn, "Can we puh-lease move on here? I'm getting bored. I just might lop off your heads too."

Karkat turned away. He knew he had been rejected and defeated. He shuffled out of the pole barn. "Goodbye, Terezi."

Kanaya stood, unsure of what to do. She somehow knew Terezi had a plan, so she followed Karkat.

It was just the two girls in the pole barn now. Terezi swallowed nervously. This had to work. Vriska was too cocky for her own good and that was how Terezi was able to burn her house down the last time.

Vriska turned her back to Terezi. Strike one. She began to speak, strike two, "It's a bit sad that you're not going to go down without a fight, but I want to listen to you scream."

Terezi smiled as she listened to Vriska's shoulders relax. Strike three.

The world seemed to move in slow motion as Terezi removed the rubber tip off of her cane and stood up. She moved closer to Vriska and it all returned to a normal speed.

She grabbed Vriska's shoulder and pulled back her cane and thrust it forward. She felt the sharp tip of her cane connect with Vriska's back and heard a sickening squelch as it slid through two of her ribs and into her back. Vriska tried to turn, but fell to the ground, face first. Terezi could smell the tang of blood in the air as it began to pool around Vriska.

Vriska was still alive. Her voice was barely below a whisper "Terezi,"

Terezi pushed the cane deeper into Vriska's back and Vriska screamed. Terezi didn't really care about her past torturer. She moved the cane around, hoping Vriska could understand how she felt during her eight days of torture.

Terezi finally lay down on the ground next to Vriska and looked her in the eyes as she took off her red sunglasses. Vriska inhaled hoarsely and tears began to slide down her face. "I don't want to die."

Terezi was unsympathetic as she laid there next to her once best friend. Her voice was as cold as an arctic sea, "Neither do I."

Vriska's eyes closed slowly and she exhaled.

Terezi had just heard a woman die.


	17. I'm Sorry

Terezi rose to her feet and pulled her cane out of Vriska's back and put the rubber tip back on, getting blood all over her hands. She wasn't really aware of much after that. She needed to catch Karkat.

She was running. Running as fast as possible. She needed to find him and show him the slip of paper she had made what felt like an eternity ago. She could barely feel anything as she moved around Kanaya and ran into Karkat the second time this year. They both fell to the ground in a heap. Terezi reached for her pocket and pulled out the little red heart and it became even redder from the dark red blood on her hands. She handed it to Karkat and it read:

I'm sorry.

He stared at it uncomprehendingly before tossing it to the side and wrapping his arms around her and kissing her.

The End?


	18. I Will Follow You Into the Dark

Terezi opened her Pesterchum account and noticed a new message from Karkat. It was a song. It was called "I Will Follow You Into the Dark" by Death Cab for Cutie. She clicked play.

"Love of mine, someday you will die,  
But I'll be close behind.  
I'll follow you into the dark.

No blinding light, or tunnels to gates of white;  
Just our hands clasped so tight,  
Waiting for the hint of a spark.  
If Heaven and Hell decide  
That they both are satisfied,  
Illuminate the 'NO's' on their vacancy signs.

If there's no one beside you  
When your soul embarks,  
Then I'll follow you into the dark

In Catholic school, as vicious as Roman rule,  
I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black;  
And I held my tongue as she told me  
'Son, fear is the heart of love.'  
So I never went back.

If Heaven and Hell decide  
That they both are satisfied,  
Illuminate the 'NO's' on their vacancy signs.

If there's no one beside you  
When your soul embarks,  
Then I'll follow you into the dark

You and me have seen everything to see,  
From Bangkok to Calgary,  
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down.  
The time for sleep is now;  
It's nothing to cry about  
'cause we'll hold each other soon  
In the blackest of rooms.

If Heaven and Hell decide  
That they both are satisfied,  
Illuminate the 'NO's' on their vacancy signs.

If there's no one beside you  
When your soul embarks,  
Then I'll follow you into the dark  
Then I'll follow you into the dark"

She smiled, shut down her computer and left the room.


	19. A Special Thanks.

AN: Thank you all so much for supporting this story! I'm so glad you all liked it and I think that I will continue writing fan fictions! I feel honored that you have read, followed, reviewed, and favorite this story until the very end. I owe you all so much. Thank you.  
~Bornon413


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